crimethinkwise.com

[home] [links] [GIR] [flash]


Pilot
The Nightmare Begins
Parent Teacher Night
Walk of Doom
Bestest Friend
NanoZIM
Germs
Dark Harvest
Attack of the Saucer Morons
The Wettening
Career Day
Battle-Dib
A Room with a Moose
Hamstergeddon
Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain
Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy
Planet Jackers
Rise of the Zitboy
Plague of Babies
Bloaty's Pizza Hog
Bolognius Maximus
Game Slave 2
Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom
Mysterious Mysteries
Future Dib
Door to Door
FBI Warning of Doom
Battle of the Planets
Abducted
The Sad, Sad Tale of Chickenfoot
Megadoomer
Lice
TAK: The Hideous New Girl
GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff
Dib's Wonderful Life of Doom
Hobo 13
Walk for Your Lives
The Most Horrible X-mas Ever
Backseat Drivers From Beyond the Stars
Mortos der Soul Stealer
ZIM Eats Waffles
The Frycook What Came from All That Space
The Girl Who Cried Gnome
Dib Ship
Gaz: Taster of Pork
Vindicated!
The Voting of the Doomed
Roboparents Gone Wild
Simon Says Doom
Invader Poonchy
Nubs of Doom
Top of the Line
Return of Keef
GIR's Big Day
Mopiness of Doom
Those!
The Trial
Day of da Spookies
Ten Minutes to Doom
It Feeds on Noodles
Pants!
Squishy: Hugger of World










Pilot
Yes, my lord!
It's grotesque!
Okey dokey!

^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^

The Nightmare Begins
GIR, reporting for duty!
I don't know!
Wheeeeee hoo hoo hoo! Wheeeeeeee hoo hoo hoo!
I'm gonna sing the doom song now! Doom doom doom doo doom doom...
Doom, doom, doom. The end! Ooh, what's that?
Heehee.
Yes my master! Groit!
I saw a squirrel.
It was doin' like this-
I wanna be a mongoose.
Master? Where did you go? Where are you?
I dooo.
Can I be a mongoose dog?
Yes, sir!
Okey dokey!
Oh, your friend's at the window!
Hello!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^

Parent Teacher Night
No, wait! Come back! I need stuff!
Yes, sir!
Yes sir, right away!
Ooh! This is my favorite show!
Wait, no, this is my favorite show!
Look! It's my favorite show!
I love this show.
I love this show.
I love this show.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Walk of Doom
Yeee heeee! I'm running, I'm running!
I'm naked!
I don't need it! I don't need it!
Aw, my bees...
Finally.
Sir, guidance chip in place and fully functional, sir.
Do we have to go right now? I wanna watch the scary monkey show!
Ooh, I like madness!
Oh, here.
Um, that way.
No, wait, um, it's over there.
Oh, I left that at home.
The guidy, chippy, thingy.
To make room for the cupcake!
I miss you, cupcake.
Aw, it likes me!
Why don't we ask the information humans for help?
What about the bus?
Are we gonna ride the sun home?
I'm gonna eat a rat!
I smell dooky!
Woo! I like destroying!
Kay.
Yes sir!
I emptied it out.
To make room for the tuuunaa.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Bestest Friend

Yes, my master.
Yes sir!
Leprechauns!
Meow!
Nothing.
Oh, I can't take it, you're too smart for me.
Keef is planning a surprise party for after skool.
He gonna bring all the kids because he loves you!
That boy loves you so much!
I'm makin' the cake!
Yes. Wait a minute... no.
Aw, man!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Nano-Zim

I got chocolate bubblegum!
Oh yeaaah.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Germs

Hooray for Earth!
I understand.
Let's go to my room, pig!
Alright, see you later, pig!
I'm gonna roll around the floor for a little bit, kay?
Aw, somebody needs a hug!
I'm gonna hug you!
I still got a hug in me!
Look, there it is.
Lemme try.
I lost it.
Wanna bite!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Dark Harvest

gir has no voice in the episode:(


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Attack of the Saucer Morons

Hi!
Yaaaay!
Yaaaay!
What?
Government man*: Excuse me, there has been a mistake!
Government man: I am government man, come from the government, the
government has sent me.
Government man: Ho ho ho! This is not an alien life form! He is an
experimental government aircraft!
Government man: That's a government pig!
Government man: Well, I have to take everything back to the home base
now. Buh bye.
I like you.
Weeeee hoooo!
(*it's gir in a giant mechanical government man!)


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


The Wettening

Hello!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Career Day

gir has no voice in the episode:(


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Battle-Dib

gir has no voice in the episode:(


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


A Room With A Moose

Greetings, children of Earth! This is your new skool announcer!
A special surprise mandatory field trip is happening for the following
lucky children:
Morla-
Flan-
Retch Rutchie-
Everyone in Ms. Bitterses... class except for Zim. And especially Dib.
All these children get to go to a special place made entirely of food.
I like food. Now check this out!
That's my favorite phase!
Where are my walnuts?
My walnuts!
Moosey fate, say moosey fate!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Hamstergeddon

Angry monkey.
Mmmm hmmm. Where's Ultra-Peepi?
Yes my lord!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain

Tacos!
Taco taco taco!
Yes sir!
Saaaay pleeeease!
Where's my moose?
Uh huh.
I guess so.
Okay, sheesh, lemme see, hmmm...
I can't.
Ooooh!
Boring!
Oooooh!
Do a little dance!
Daaance!
Yay! Now we go up!
Wooah, what's this do!?!
I'm gonna make toast!
Aw, don't be sad, master. I know what'll make you feel better.
Uh huh... But how about some of this?
Tacos!
Must obey the taco man!
Taaaacooos!
I'm gonna get me some of these tacos!
Maybe you're right. Maybe I'll get a giant burrito too.
BUUUURRRRIIIITTOOO!
What kinda drinks ya got?
Gimme a large classic poop.
I love the little tacos. I love them good.
Yes master?
Gimme!
But I neeeeed tacos! I need them or I will explode! That happens to me
sometimes!
Where's my mouth!?!
Okey dokey.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy

Ooooooooooooooh!
What is it!?!
What is it!?!
Wait, if you destroyed Dib in the past, then he won't ever be your
enemy, then you won't have to send a robot back to destroy him, and
then he will be your enemy so you will have to send a robot back-
Whyyy!?!
Why my piggy!?! I love-ed you, piggy! I love-ed you!
Doo dee doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo, doo dee doo dee doo, doo.
Yay, we're doomed!
It's like none of it ever happened! Where did the last piggy go?


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Planet Jackers

Yes?
Nothin'.
I know, I'm scared too.
I love this show.
Wooo! Do that again!
Let's make biscuits! Let's make biscuits!
What about that one?
So? He seems nice!
G-force.
Stolen?
I like TV!
Tell me a story about giant pigs!
Yay!
Aw.
Yes.
Hm.
Ooooh!
Yes, sir!
Hi!
It's done!
Yay!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Rise of the Zitboy

Thank you....
I... I love you....
I had a coupon!
I like it!
Don't worry, I like you too!
I made it myself!
You got a pimple!
Just like on TV!
I got some right here!
Yes, I will stop. I will obey.
I obey.
I'm dancin' like a monkey!
Monkey dance.
Obey.
Hypnotic powers.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Plague of Babies

But Dib's seen us before.
And he knows where we live.
doo dee doo
Oh yeah.
Awww... He's cute! And stinky lookin'!
He's just a baby!
Hi baby!
So?
But I-
Yes?
I like babies!
I'm gonna play with the babies!
Okay!
Babies!
Wooo-hooo!
Aw... I wanted to explode!
Bye, baby!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Bloaty's Pizza Hog

I'm guarding the house!
None may pass! You are an intruder!
He went down there.
Yes! Wait... I dunno.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Bolognius Maximus

gir has no voice in the episode:(


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Game Slave 2

gir has no voice in the episode:(


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom

My taquitos!
My taquitos! Eh, homina, eh... TAQUITOS!
Hmm hmm hmm.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Mysterious Mysteries

He's so mean to my master! He not like the Zim! I seen it! Dib is bad!
Yeeheeheehe!
I was the chubby lady hiding in the bushes!
I'm on TV!
That's when the giant squirrel showed up!
No! The squirrel showed up first, then Dib showed up.
And then the squirrel ate Dib's greasy head!
And then the squirrel flew away!
After that, he went back to his home planet to fight all the bad guys.
Me and the squirrel are friends!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Future Dib

Monkey!!!
Awww, your little robot boy's broken!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Door to Door

Why is his head so big!?! Why's his head so big!?!
The mystery of the prize...
Yes, my lord!
Yaaaaay I'm gonna be sick!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


FBI Warning of Doom

Who is it!?!
I gonna watch it again!
Shhhhh!
You got any of them taquitos?
No! I'm still watching it! I wanna see what happens! I need it!
Whu... Why!?!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Battle of the Planets

I gotta go, pig! I'll see you later!
I GOTTA GO PIG! I'LL SEE YOU LATER!
Are we there yet?
Woo! Woo!
Ohh, it's broken!
It's fixed! Oh yeah! Woo!
I can see up its nose!
Mmm hmmm..
What's this do?
What's that do?
What's that do?
What's this do?
What's that do?
What's this do?
What's that do?
What's this do? What's that do? What's this do? What's that do? What's
that!?! What's that!?!
What's that dooo!
What's it do?
What's it do?
Okey dokey!
Woo!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Abducted

Oooooh!
Hee hoo! Hi there!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


The Sad, Sad Tale of Chickenfoot

gir has no voice in the episode:(


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


MegaDoomer

It's got chicken legs!
Ooooooooh!
I had no idea!
I'm floatin'.
Awww...
I can still see you!
The plug thing! It's not plugged!
Gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble.
Nyaaa!
Wooo hoo!
Chicken!
I'm gonna eat you!
Awwoh, you look so cute!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Lice

gir has no voice in the episode:(


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Tak: The Hideous New Girl

No! You're not dirt!
Your on fire!
Your head smells like a puppy!
And I'm...
I dunno!
Yay! Brains!
No she didn't!
Only if you dance with me!
Doo dee doo dee doo dee doooo dee doo dee...
Meooow!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


GIR Goes Crazy And Stuff

Hi, cow!
Bye, cow!
Oooooh…
Cows are my frieeeeends…
WHEEEEOo!!
Yes, sir!
I like dooky!
Weenies!! Weenieees! Dancin’ weenies, da na na naaa…
Doo dee doo dee dooooo, waffles!!
…Doody.
Yes, sir!
Yes, sir!
Doo dee doo dee doo dee doo dee doo dee doo dee dooooo!
Yes, sir!
Doo dee doo dee doo dee doo dee doo dee doo dee-
Sir, target is a hologram and therefore not a threat to our mission!
Blend in with the indigenous life, analyze their weaknesses, prepare
for the coming of badness! Yay.
Sir, it is merely a police siren-
Yes, sir!
Opening door!
Running! Runninggg!
I have captured the enemy for meat testing! Praise me! Praise meee!!
With all due respect, you must know the SIR unit code enables free will
in the event that the mission is threatened. This Police human was a
threat.
Didja know that?
Right away…S-Sir…
Observing… observing… observing…!
Television is stupid. The master is not utilizing me properly! I will
show my ‘Master’ how information collecting is done!
An information center... Excellent.
I require access to all human knowledge!!
Not acceptable, Library-drone!
The knowledge… it fills me… it is neat!
Data canister is not yet full!
You are no commander! You are a threat to the mission! Your methods are
stupid! Your progress has been stupid! Your intelligence is stupid! For
the sake of the mission, you must be terminated!
Stupidity is the enemy! Zim is enemy!
Target found! Eliminate moron!
For the good of the mission…
Yes. I didn’t like it.
Vision…impaired! Can’t see!!
Hi, floor! Make me a sammich!
Sammiiiich!! Nyee hee hee! Sammich! Nyeh heh…
G’bye!! G'byyye! G'byee! G’bye, g’bye!!!
He’s gettin’ eaten by a shark.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Dib's Wonderful Life of Doom

Finally!!!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Hobo 13

You get my Taquitos yet?
Taquitos!!! And a clown with no head!
Headless clown! Headless clown!!!
How 'bout clown Taquitos?


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Walk for Your Lives

No they didn't!
I don't wanna!
Okay!
Yaaaay! It burns!
K, a little to the left. Step foreword. Okay, look out for the monkey.
Okay, look out for the other monkey. Okay?
Okay?
Look what I found!
He smells real bad!
I know what you meeean.
What you saaaay?
No it won't!
But won't it just explode? Just like this- KABLAM!
But no! No he wasn't!
Won't the s'ploding hurt?
But if the big s'plodey goes fast, won't it get all bad?


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


The Most Horrible X-mas Ever

I wants me a barrel of floss!
I wants me two balls of glue-
-TO BE MY FRIENDS! And I wants to go dancing NAKED!
And I wants...
And a chair made 'a cheese-
And a table made 'a cheese and a...
Hmmm mmmm...
We wish you a merry jingly, we wish you a merry jingly, we wish
yoooooooooou-
I am!
Hmm mmm, a little that way. No, a little back. Good, goood.
No it wasn't!
Yaaay!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Backseat Drivers From Beyond the Stars
It's me! I was the turkey all along!
I was the turkey! Me!
Okee-dokee!
Look at me go! I'm doing it!
Wooo!!!
I made mashed potatoes!
Yaaaay! I don't know what you just said!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Mortos der Soul Stealer

SAMMICH!
I had a sammich in my head.
PUPPIES!
You didn't have to yell at me.
I's just... I got rid of my sammich.
I's just thinkin'-
Yes, vermin lord!
So, about my sammich...


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


ZIM Eats Waffles

Intruder!
Okey dokey!
Guess who made waffles!
There's waffle in 'em!
I like to make waffles...
Hm?
Wee hehehheheee! Woo!
What happened?
These got peanuts and soap in 'em!
You look like you need waffles, poop poop poooop!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


The Frycook What Came from All That Space

Yes, my master!
My master's in trouble!
Hi!
Oh yeaaaah! I's 'sposed to call the Tallest for him! He in trouble! Woo!
Okey dokey!
And then my master flew to the moon in a rocket of flamin' cheese! I
like cheese! Cheese, cheese, cheese... (continuous)


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


The Girl Who Cried Gnome

We're on TV! We're on TV!
You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make
biscuits? You gonna make biscuits?


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Dib Ship

Oooooh.
I like corn! I do.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Gaz: Taster of Pork

Yaaay!
I got monkeys in me!

^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^
Vindicated!

I gotta eat that fish!
Hey! Look at this! Doodeedoodeedooo!

^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


The Voting of the Doomed

SALTED NUTS!     SALTED NUTS!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


RoboparentsGoneWild

Hee hee hee. Pain.
THAT'S GOOOOD SPAGHETTI!!!
MWHEEEHEEEHEEE!!! YAAAY!!
He stinks like a weenie! I smell it. Yeeeah. A weenie. Ya KNOWWWW?
Weenie


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Simon says Doom

gir has no appearance:(


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


InvaderPoonchy

Fooooled you! Now there's two GIR's! That's BBEEF GIR! LET'S EAT'IM!
I WISH I KNEW!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Nubs of Doom

I gonna play with the cheese.
Whatchadoin?? WHATCHADOING??????
WHATCHADOING?? HUH? WHACHOODOIN!?
He got nubs! Let's Go Swimmin', Moose!
Oh.
Nuh uh.
Pick me up a SUCKMUNKY
You get my SUCKMUNKY yet?
YAY! I get to play with the moose!
(singing) Playin' with the moose!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Top of the Line

I dunno yet what anyone says in this episode sorry


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Return of Keef

But he so nice. You just gotta give him a chance, and open up his head
and sleep in it like a squishy little bed.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


GIR's Big Day
No complete scripts exists for this cancelled episode. This is how the plot would've gone:

While fetching supplies for ZIM, GIR gets hit by a truck.
Some scientists witness this event and are amazed at how GIR is fine after the accident.
They abduct him for their "ultimate doggy" experiment.
They decide to combine GIR's strength with the obedience of another dog.
While getting a sample of GIR, they only retrieve a bit of doughnut crumbs.
They unknowingly create a horrible doughnut-dog monster.
A scientist then helps GIR escape.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Mopiness of Doom

I call you a monkey. YOU A MONKEY!
Oh yeah! Hee hee. I made that! Don't tell no one where I hid them.
You gonna yell at me now!?
And how was Skool, son?!
I miss you, Couch. I miss you so much.
Listen to me, he needs you Mary! You two such good friends! Like hot
dogs! Please hunt my master again! COUCH!!
YAAYYY! COUCH!!!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Those!

I dunno yet what anyone says in this episode sorry


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


The Trial (never to be aired)

MONKEY?! DON'T LEAVE ME, MONKEY!!
That's soo saaaad.
Push the monkey?

WOO!!

GIR drinks more SuckMunky and spills much all over his doggy
suit. We zoom in on GIR as he reaches into his pockets and
pulls out the medallion he was given earlier. Inscribed on
the medallion is "KING GIR: RULER OF EARTH". GIR giggles.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Day of Da' Spookies

WHAT IS IT? TELL MEEEE!! TELLL MEEEEE! AGHHH!!!! AGHHH!!!! TELL ME!!
AAAAGH!!
This is too scary!
I don't know
You live in the basement!


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Ten Minutes to Doom

GIR says nothing :(


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


It Feeds on Noodles

No complete scripts exists for this cancelled episode.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Pants!

No complete scripts exists for this cancelled episode.


^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^


Squishy: Hugger of Worlds


No complete scripts exists for this cancelled episode.
^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^